There was a time when a couple could go off by themselves, exchange vows, and this was considered a valid marriage. But being human, people, began to abuse this situation. So the Church took steps to make sure that the freedom of both individuals was protected and honored, in an attempt to protect both the dignity of persons and the good of the sacrament. Thus, there are requirements before getting married.
Vatican II clarified that marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman, ordered toward their mutual good and the procreation and education of children. As a partnership, it is a union of equals who come together to form a new family. Marriage is something not entered into lightly because there are people involved. And where there are people, there should be protection of rights so that no one gets hurt.
In addition, for baptized persons, Jesus raised the human institution of marriage to the dignity of a sacrament in which the love of a husband and wife truly make present the love of Jesus for the Church (CCC 1601, 1613). We are social beings. Our lives touch others and are touched by others, therefore marriage is not a private affair. Those who claim such, are misguided.
The Church requires that a couple go before their faith community (represented by a priest and at least two witnesses) and exchange their vows publicly because the significance of what they are doing is truly a public matter. This newly formed family which the Second Vatican Council calls the Ecclesia domestica [Domestic church] is the bosom of the family that parents are by word and example,… part of both the civil and the religious community with responsibilities and privileges. The Church recognizes both a new social unity within the parish and a new public witness to Jesus’ love for his Church (CCC 1656).
It is very important to remember that marriage, the covenantal partnership, and that it originates from God at the very beginning of the creation of Adam and Eve, as we read in Genesis. It is part of God’s will for men and women to flourish…they were created in love and for love. Not just emotional or romantic love, but the love I spoke of in one of my previous blogs… that “ti voglio bene”, “I want good for you” kind of love, the love seeking the true good for the other! The greatest way this is expressed is in the marriage covenant! This covenant is an agreement in which a man and a woman exchange themselves to each other, giving themselves completely and permanently to the other. The bond of marriage is a sacred bond because God is the author of marriage.
So what about Divorce? The subject of divorce has often come up during discussions both in my classes and outside class. Although divorce is a serious issue, it is not a sin. Many people have deep misconceptions about divorce. Because many believe it is a sin, most divorced people do not receive Holy Communion.
Some people I’ve spoken with stated that they were not permitted to receive Holy Communion because they were divorced and thus “in sin”. They want to receive Holy Communion and be united with their faith community, but felt that to approach the sacrament in what they believed was a state of sin, would be blasphemous. I informed them that if there was no other issue holding him back, such as being remarried outside the Church, they were free to receive Holy Communion. To attempt remarriage without obtaining an annulment, or a statement that the previous marriage was invalid, however, would prohibit them from receiving Holy Communion, but not the divorce. Divorced persons remain in good standing with the Church and are free to receive any of the sacraments if no other sinful behavior stands in the way.
If you get an annulment, are the children considered illegitimate? NO…. There is considerable confusion concerning the effects of an annulment, especially with regard to the legal status of the children of an annulled marriage. An annulment is not a “Catholic divorce.” It is official judgement that a marriage is not sacramental, but it is natural. A natural marriage is a lifelong partnership between an unbaptized man and/or an unbaptized woman, which is ordered to the good of the couple and the procreation and education of children.
A sacramental marriage is the very same thing only between two baptized persons, which raises the dignity of the marriage to being a sacrament and a witness to the unity of Jesus with the Church. Since it is an official act of the Catholic faith community, the wedding of a sacramental marriage is to take place in a church in the presence of a priest and two witnesses.
Additionally, as a sacrament, marriage is a grace-filled state of life in which Jesus is the third partner. Every baptized person has the right to enter a sacramental marriage by virtue of his or her Baptism. An annulment states that the marriage in question was not a sacramental marriage, but a naturalmarriage. Thus, the persons involved are free to enter into a sacramental marriage, that is, they can have the marriage blessed, later on. Because the first marriage was a true marriage—natural but not sacramental—the children born to the couple are fully legitimate in the eyes of the Church as well as of the state. There is no change of status for the children as a result of the annulment.
Remember, an annulment is a statement that no Sacramental marriage existed, not that no marriage existed at all. Additionally, because marriage is a sacrament of the Church—the marriage of two baptized Christians is to take place where the faith community gathers for worship and celebrates the other public and sacramental acts of the Church, that is, it is to take place in church, not on a beach or other “beautiful resort settings”.
What about Gay marriage? The Catholic community has long held that marriage—the conjugal union of one man and one woman—is a partnership of the whole of life and is ordered to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children. “Each of the two sexes is an image of the power and tenderness of God, with equal dignity though in a different way. The union of man and woman in marriage is a way of imitating, in the flesh, the Creator’s generosity and fecundity [fertility]: ‘Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.’(Gen. 2:24). All generations proceed from this union.” (CCC 2335).
What are the steps required for annulment? Since an annulment is a juridical statement that a marriage is not sacramental, the parties involved are free to enter into a sacramental marriage. Most parish priests are able to help a couple or an individual begin the annulment process, but it will eventually require a legal procedure—argued by canon lawyers—at the local diocesan office.
The best advice for one looking to remarry—and wanting to do so with the blessings of the Church—is to discuss the situation with a priest or another qualified pastoral worker, who can advise on what practical steps are needed.
THE SACRAMENT OF HOLY ORDERS The sacrament of Holy Orders along with the sacrament of Matrimony, belongs to a special group of sacraments known as Sacraments of Commitment. These two sacraments are sacraments of “service of communion” “directed toward the salvation of others and serve to build up the people of God.” (CCC 1534).
It is true that all who are baptized share in the universal priesthood of the church. However, Holy Orders is the sacrament of ordained priestly ministry, of which there are three degrees, deacon, priest and bishop, although only two, priest and bishop, share the ministerial priesthood. Priests are coworkers of the bishop, while the deacon assists the priest. Holy Orders is “holy” because it has a sacred character and mission; it is “ordered” because it is structured and tiered with levels of responsibility. For example, while a Deacon can preach, baptize, witness and bless marriages, among many other duties, he cannot hear confessions or celebrate Mass. A priest can perform all of the above as well as offer Mass and hear confessions but he cannot ordain; a bishop can ordain and perform all of the priestly functions because he possess the fullness of Holy Orders...thus these ministries give “holy order” to the Church.
The ministerial priesthood has its beginning in the Old Testament. Melchizedek was a priest of God, the first to offer bread and wine (Gen. 14:18). Later, beginning with Aaron, the Levites were especially chosen by God, for priestly service, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Summon the tribe of Levi and present them to Aaron the priest…only Aaron and his descendants shall you appoint to have charge of the priestly functions’.”(Num 3:5-10)
The sacrament of Holy Orders was established by Jesus when he asked the apostles to continue the ministries He began. Holy Orders “is the sacrament through which the mission entrusted by Christ to His apostles continues to be exercised in the Church until the end of time: thus it is the sacrament of apostolic ministry.” (CCC 1536). On Holy Thursday, at the Last Supper, when Jesus instituted the Eucharist, He told His apostles, “Do this in memory of me” (Lk 22:19). When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to the apostles in the Upper Room, He said, “As the Father sent me, so I send you…Jesus breathed on them and said,’receive the Holy Spirit’.” (Jn. 20-21-22). Additionally, Jesus instructed His apostles to “Go, make disciples of all nations. Baptize them…Teach them.” (Mt. 28:19-20). The priesthood is a divine call from God, not the person. Scripture tells us that, “No one takes this honor upon himself but only when called by God…. It is the priest’s duty to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. (See Heb. 5:1,4). The priest serves in Persona Christi, in the person of Christ and never serves on his own behalf…in his loving, humble service is the visible presence of Christ in the community.
The most important ministries of the priest is to offer the holy sacrifice of the Mass and to preach the gospel. Without priests, the Church would be without the Eucharist, the summit of Christian life. He is also a preacher and must preach, first with his life, as an example of the holy life God wishes us to live, and the priest is one who is the means by which God’s Grace is imparted to the people and shepherds his people to to a more intimate union with God.
A priest has a most difficult and sacred work to do, entrusted by God, working tirelessly to bring the gospel to his people. Pray for the priests, pray for vocations to the priesthood and consecrated life! Here is a prayer for priests that I pray each day. However, there are other prayers that may be said.
Daily Prayer for Priests O Almighty and Eternal God, look upon the face of Your Christ and for the love of Him who is the eternal High Priest, have pity on Your priests. Remember, O most compassionate God, that they are but weak and frail human beings. Stir up in them the Grace of their vocation which is in them by the imposition of the bishop’s hands. Keep them close to You, lest the Enemy prevail against them, so they may never do anything in the slightest degree unworthy of their sublime vocation. O Jesus, I pray to You for Your faithful and fervent priests; for Your unfaithful and tepid priests; for Your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields; for Your tempted priest; for Your lonely and desolate priests; for Your young priests; for Your aged priests; for Your dying priests: for the souls of Your priests in Purgatory But above all, I commend to You the priests dearest to me; the priest who baptized me; the priests who absolved me of my sins; the priests at whose Masses I assisted, and gave me Your Body and Blood in Holy Communion; the priests who taught and instructed me, or helped and encouraged me; all the priests to whom I am indebted in any way, particularly [Name]. O Jesus, keep them close to Your Heart, and bless them abundantly in time and in eternity. Amen. IMPRAMATUR ✝️Robert C. Merlino, 6 September 2018