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Some Thoughts and Questions & Maybe Some Answers
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October 4, 2023
Yesterday, Oct. 3rd, 2023, was a difficult day for our country, it has been for a while now, but more so yesterday with the ousting of the Speaker. I was deeply saddened by the heightened division and discord with those who “run” the country..congress is in shambles and with no leadership! As sad as this is, I’m more saddened for our Church after reading the ambiguous reply from our Pope Francis to the Dubia (questions) asked of him by several Cardinals. The cardinals asked for clarifications to questions and information coming from other members of the clergy and laity. Nothing seems to be clarified, rather only more muddied… teachings that have been handed down to us from Christ Himself and from the apostles! All seem to be “up for grabs” and up to individual interpretation.
This morning, I walked to church to attend Mass. I went before the Tabernacle and knelt there. Silently praying, but actually just asking questions… I don’t remember quite word for word what I whispered but it went something like this:
“You know lord, we are a mess! This country is a mess! Your Church is a mess! I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t understand any of it, but You do! I’m starting to think that our prayers are for nothing…Why is it that it seems that when we pray, no matter what, things just get worse?! Only You know Lord—because You know everything! Maybe you say it’s our lack of faith… but how can we have faith when it seems what we pray for is for nothing? How can we know what’s right or wrong when Your shepherd(s) and those who are leading your people seem to lead their sheep astray? What are we supposed to do? I know we are supposed to be obedient, but really? You know our hearts and that we want only what You want and where we want to go—to be with and follow You…what are we supposed to do? Things are getting scary. Oh, we know the final outcome Lord, You’ve already won! But it’s the in-between time and stuff that worries me! All these people who don’t know and are at a loss for answers (me too sometimes), we are supposed to follow your Church, but it really is quite a mess! So, it would be really good if we can get some type of assurance from you that we are on the right path….I know You’ll probably say we don’t trust You enough—that’s probably true, but You know our weaknesses, You know we are most often clueless and that you know we need direction, that left to ourselves we are lost, and I know You want all of us to be saved! A little glimpse of your plan in all of this would be nice! I don’t know, I’m just rambling on it seems but that’s where I am… I’m afraid for us all!”
Then, I look up to the only thing in the sanctuary, the mosaic of the risen Lord and see His eyes, and hear His voice in my heart say, “Just look to me, here I am, I am always here, I’ll always be here!”
During my walk home after Mass, I prayed… Yes, I prayed. I prayed the Luminous mysteries for the Synod and the Cardinals and everyone participating in it. And I prayed a Chaplet of Divine Mercy, for all of us, for our Church, for our country, for the preservation, strengthening and perseverance of families, for the return to sanity and common sense which seems to have been completely lost! And for the return of our country to the belief in the One true God, and our Lord Jesus Christ Who has always been here, and will always be here for us!
My friends, I’m guessing you’re probably like me, full of questions and not many answers…
I would say to you, read the last line and the answer Jesus gave me… that is your answer to you as well! Jesus tells us, “Just look to me, here I am, I’m always here for you!”