Previously I spoke about what God wants of us, from Micah 6:8, that is to act Justly.
I want to continue with the rest of this scripture passage, particularly that God wants me to love tenderly with mercy. What does it mean to love tenderly with mercy? Again, I’d like to try to explain with a story.
One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold and drizzly rain. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm?” To ease her mind, he added, “By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.” Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.” A few miles down the road the lady saw a small café. She went in to grab a bite to eat and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan. After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred-dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: do not let this chain of love end with you.” Under the napkin were four more $100 bills. Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”
“Love Mercy” contains the Hebrew word ‘hesed’, which means “loyal love” or “Loving –kindness.” Along with justice, Israel was to provide mercy. Both Justice and Mercy are foundational to God’s character. (Psalm 89:14) God expected His people to show love to their fellow man and to be loyal in their love toward Him, just as He had been loyal to them.
Our Lord exhorts us to fraternal love: “Love one another as I have loved you” (Jn 15:12). Jesus speaks to you as a friend, and that He expects you to bear fruit, a fruit that is manifested through love. St. John Chrysostom affirms: “If love would be spread all over, an infinite goodness would be born out of it”.
During my teaching days, I saw and experienced many examples of some crisis with students and the vulnerability of individuals. Young people who had nothing, no firm, steady thing or person to hold on to, to depend or to trust! I remember a student, about 13-14 yrs. old who, for various reasons, was not living at home with his family. He was having a tough time one day and just could not settle down in his class. His behavior quickly deteriorated and when we finally succeeded in settling him down, he broke down in tears sobbing almost uncontrollably and saying, “I just want to go home and be with my mother!”
Justice, while necessary, can be cold and unfeeling (Micah 7:18) To do justice alone is not sufficient for a child of God. We must love tenderly with mercy and do what it requires. Characteristics of mercy include kindness, having a disposition to do good, charity. Part of mercy requires us to be willing to forgive the sins of others as God is willing to forgive our sins—it is this aspect of mercy that our salvation comes through!
The student’s wanting/need to be with his mother doesn’t justify his behavior but it does help us to understand the why’s of his behavior. Once we understood the whys, steps could be taken to help this young boy.
We must love with an awareness of the capacity of the other person to be wounded, to suffer pain, and to be dependent upon the relationships with others.
To love tenderly requires a particular sensitivity. We, as human beings, are dependent upon a network of belonging. We require a sense of connection with others who confirm our being and provide a home which grounds or secures our sense of personal well-being.
We must understand that Faith is not a matter of knowledge separated from feelings—faith is dynamic! And it is shown in emotion as well as knowledge. (Be careful… I am NOT saying that we act according to our feelings). We are to lead out in this journey of faith, a journey that we too are making, to nurture an ongoing process of transformation! We must provide an environment that is in part tender to all we come in contact with, whoever they are, children, adolescents, adults. Faith involves the whole of a person’s being!
The student teaches us that the pilgrimage of faith must be made in the company of others! We cannot focus on the persons alone, because growth depends on the quality of the whole environment. Faith is shaped not only by the interior spirituality, but also on the exterior inter-action with others. Throughout all stages of life, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, we experience different stages of vulnerability and we do well to keep this in mind as we interact with others and get to know them!
We are all called to love as God loves… a covenant love, continually calling us into new and more faithful beings; a love that reaches out to us not only tenderly, but also tenaciously, that is keeping a firm hold on life. This is our vocation! We are called to love as God loves, not only to be tender but to hold firmly on to life… BUT, IF WE PRACTICE ONLY TENDERNESS AND COMPASSION, WE MAY FAIL TO FULFILL OUR MISSION…. We run the risk of losing our way in sentimentality and inappropriate affirmation. The young student needed compassion, but also needed to face the consequences of his behavior. So, our love, our tenderness MUST be that of God’s covenant love, continually renewing us into FAITHFUL children.
The young student is not only an individual child with a particular history and potential, he also represents every child with dependencies and vulnerabilities. He represents the whole human family who God Loves and asks us to love!
If we think of our own place in daily life ministry—our homes, our parish, what pain and hopes call out for tenderness? What are the structures that call for tenacious hold on the vision of the people of God?
We are called to love with a Tender but Firm love, keeping a firm hold on life in justice. Yahweh, told us…tenderly but firmly.